DELETE

Before I left for Kripalu, I told myself that I needed to eliminate some people from my life.... People that were too damn busy caring about themselves to give a fuck about others. If you can't pull your head out of your ass to care for others, then you're not someone that I want or need in my life.... It's times like these when it's very clear who are your true friends.


So, on the night that I returned from Kripalu.... I eliminated about 60 people from my facebook page and ultimately from my life. Some of those people were from my past that I hope, when they were in need, I offered an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and words of encouragement. Actually, I eliminated a friend that considered me her "good friend" and when her mother died of cancer....I was there for her. When I announced what happened to Areila, all I got was an "I'm sorry for your loss" or something really canned and insincere. When I gave her the details of the memorial service, she texted me back to tell me she "couldn't make it" and asked if "I wanted her to bring something". Hmmmm....I should have replied, "why yes, a bucket of chicken, a coldstone cake, a bottle of Oban, and bag of bbq pork rinds". REALLY?!?!?!?!?! When someone dies...is it normal to ask the person if they want you to bring something.... Don't you do things for them out of the kindness of your heart without questions??

Well, when I announced that I was deleting folks, she tried to use the "well, you asked for space, so I was giving you space", line. Asking for space is NOT the same thing as ignoring and avoiding. You can respect boundaries while showing concern and love....many people just sent cards, texts, emails with a simple yet meaningful, "I have no words but...know you're in my prayers, etc", "I'm sorry", or "you're in my thoughts"....whatever.....3 simple words can mean the world to someone whose world has stopped. It felt good to do and it needed to be done. I've since, probably eliminated about 40 more people and I don't think that I'm done. I've even eliminated family....my first cousin, and stepbrother have yet to say "boo" to me....guess what!?!?!? DELETE!!!! I'll say it again...."I'm sorry my loss and grief makes you uncomfortable, but....It REALLY makes me uncomfortable"....and I'm living every parents nightmare!!!!

DELETE!