Well, after many sleepless nights, going around in cirles and, not being able to eat, and not being able to think clearly, I felt like I needed something to take the edge off. I began to drink....still do but I've cut back quite a bit because even I, noticed it was becoming a problem. I was VERY careful during pregnancy and didn't even have a glass of wine because I was that paranoid mama.... I figured it was only 9 months of my life to be extra careful. As much as I looooove to get my drink on....I had no real problem going without because having a healthy, living baby is worth it....right. What a fucking waste...huh?
I also needed to add to the whole crazy, perseverating mad-woman look by buying a pack of camels. So.... I smoked. Not weed....just camels... although, that might not have been such a bad idea. :) Picture me with glass of booze in one hand, cigarette in the other, sitting in and staring at a corner, rocking, unbathed, hair uncombed, old dirty t-shirt, torn sweatpants....puff, sip, puff, sip. I actually didn't do that but I felt like it!
I started off with drinking Meiers and diet pepsi.... Meiers is a local company...gotta keep it local, right? AND it's just as good as bacardi...only cheaper!!! :) I also drank local wine but....wine truly kicks my ass. Harmony by Debonne is one of my favorites (4o% merlot, 30%riesling, 30% chardonnay) but I can only have a glass because if I have more....it quickly sucks me into the deepest depths of grief.
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