More...Now.

This will not be a long post but I felt compelled to share my thoughts on the importance of living in the moment and just, 'being'. 

Two days ago, my grandmother had a stroke.  She is 10 days away from turning 100yrs old and her body is done...understandably tired.  She is not verbal because the stroke took her ability to speak and she hasn't opened her eyes today (she progressively became blind) but to my amazement, appears to have remarkable mental clarity.  She has been able to respond in some way, to every person that visited and every question we asked.   She spent most of the day awake and present with the family.  She was even able to hold my two wiggly toddlers for quite some time. 

She is living in a nursing home and there has been quite a bit of family controversy over whether or not she should have been admitted into the hospital and more interventions should have been used but when I asked her if that was where she wanted to go, she immediately responded with a shake of the head, 'no'.  She shared with my mother days before her stroke,  her thoughts about being done with this life.  So...... all we can do now. is just be with her.  All she wanted today was for us to hold her and so, for several hours, while family watched my little people, I stayed with her and held her hand.  Whenever she reached for a hand, I offered mine because that was all she wanted and needed.  As a new single mother, working full-time, always rushing to and from work, school, grocery store, and daycare, always pre-occupied with just trying to survive,...
I am reminded by my grandmother, who is now about to complete the final pages in her book of life, the importance of 'the power of now'.  And so, tomorrow, I will make sure to slow down- I will look into my childrens' eyes ....I will hug them....I will tell them how special they are....I will make sure they know how loved they are,  and I will go see my grandmother and when she reaches out....I will tell her I love her,  hold her hand and just be with her.