Well, I made it through the holidays. I stayed inside, avoided family gatherings and fought with all my being to not melt at the feet of a family friend when she asked asked me how I was doing and why I wasn't joining the rest of my family for their holiday festivities.
I did manage to keep myself very busy. I did A LOT! I made over 35 pair of pajamas in December. Some were family and friend's gifts and others were orders. So, to add to the list....I did a lot of sewing. I found that I'm a great multi-tasker....crying and sewing!
(My kitchen became my sewing room while my husband was out of town)
I thought very hard about ways to include Areila during the holidays. Well, I spent quite a bit of time decorating her tree and wreath for the door. Complete with lavender colored butterflies and ornaments. I asked that my family contribute an ornament for her tree.
I took it even further with making ornaments with the names of all the babies whose lives ended too soon for all of my loss friends.
Anything to keep myself busy!
Here are some of my other projects....
My birthday is a couple weeks into the new year and I wanted absolutely no parts of it. I was not about any kind of celebrating and not having my entire family with me to celebrate was a knife in my back. Every facebook birthday greeting, text, and phone call that came in was like that knife was slowly being turned. We baby loss mamas can be pretty damn wacky and irrational but it's OUR reality.
